Dolly Hinckley

Reasons Marriages End

REASONS MARRIAGES END

A hundred years ago, even fifty years ago, couples stayed together because they needed each other. In frontier days, the family was a team. Dad cleared the trees, built the house, fought the enemies, hunted food, tended the fields; mom cooked the game, made the soap, bore and raised the children, helped tend the fields. Even the children did their share of the family’s work; everyone worked together for the common good.

Today, others clear our trees, build our homes, fight the enemy, grow and prepare our food, make the soap. Families are not isolated and self-sufficient. Men and women work outside the home, and children are sometimes more influenced by their peers than by a strong family unit.

No more shared goals or interests is one reason today’s marriages or relationships end.

Differing values and needs is another. Changing, questionable, or divergent goals, needs, and values force a couple apart when they can not, or will not, recognize that they may be undergoing separate metamorphoses.

Loss of trust or respect can erode a relationship, especially if there is a third party involved.

Chemical addiction,sexual incompatibility,anger and resentment,lack of commitment can all add to the deterioration.

Mid-life crisis is often a factor – that crazy time for both men and women when they become restless, dissatisfied with their lives, and have the urge to do something, anything, different, and with some ONE different.

Ego needs can lead to a breakdown – the “I’m right, you’re wrong”, the need to control, or resist control, the need for one partner to look good at the expense of the other partner.

However, the most common reason relationships end is the lack of communication, the inability of the partners to talk to each other, to listen, to hear, to share honest feelings and emotions, and to have their needs and concerns acknowledged by their partner. This inability, or disinclination, to communicate ends more relationships than any other factor.

I think that people grow apart when their collective battery runs out, when they have gone as far as they can together and can’t, or won’t, go on together any longer. Some relationship batteries have a short life, and some a long life. Relationships don’t fail, they just don’t re-charge; they run out of energy.

REASONS MARRIAGES END

A hundred years ago, even fifty years ago, couples stayed together because they needed each other. In frontier days, the family was a team. Dad cleared the trees, built the house, fought the enemies, hunted food, tended the fields; mom cooked the game, made the soap, bore and raised the children, helped tend the fields. Even the children did their share of the family’s work; everyone worked together for the common good.

Today, others clear our trees, build our homes, fight the enemy, grow and prepare our food, make the soap. Families are not isolated and self-sufficient. Men and women work outside the home, and children are sometimes more influenced by their peers than by a strong family unit.

No more shared goals or interests is one reason today’s marriages or relationships end.

Differing values and needs is another. Changing, questionable, or divergent goals, needs, and values force a couple apart when they can not, or will not, recognize that they may be undergoing separate metamorphoses.

Loss of trust or respect can erode a relationship, especially if there is a third party involved.

Chemical addiction,sexual incompatibility,anger and resentment,lack of commitment can all add to the deterioration.

Mid-life crisis is often a factor – that crazy time for both men and women when they become restless, dissatisfied with their lives, and have the urge to do something, anything, different, and with some ONE different.

Ego needs can lead to a breakdown – the “I’m right, you’re wrong”, the need to control, or resist control, the need for one partner to look good at the expense of the other partner.

However, the most common reason relationships end is the lack of communication, the inability of the partners to talk to each other, to listen, to hear, to share honest feelings and emotions, and to have their needs and concerns acknowledged by their partner. This inability, or disinclination, to communicate ends more relationships than any other factor.

I think that people grow apart when their collective battery runs out, when they have gone as far as they can together and can’t, or won’t, go on together any longer. Some relationship batteries have a short life, and some a long life. Relationships don’t fail, they just don’t re-charge; they run out of energy.